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Writer's pictureRev Shelley Griffiths

Zombie Apocalypse!

Zombie Apocalypse 

A Pastor Shells Soapbox Sermon

September 28th 2024



For those of you that have seen The Walking Dead, you will understand what I mean when I say ‘walking with the herd’. If you haven’t seen the TV series, let me explain. Most of the non-zombie-fied humans in this post-apocalyptic survival story create barricaded safe havens with watch towers to keep the zombies out, but one particular group of nomadic survivors don masks made from dead people, move the way the zombies do and hide themselves in the pack. They cease speaking to each other so as not to draw attention to themselves and therefore are able to move amongst the zombie herds undetected. 


We don’t have watch towers or barricades here at Vegan Valley, but we do have an application process to join us and a gate with a lock on it. It is such an incredible safe haven that when we need to leave it for any reason, whether it’s to get supplies or go home to do laundry, we have started to see life outside the gate rather like a post-apocalyptic dystopian nightmare filled with flesh-eating sleepwalkers who do not care what they consume or who they harm in their own quest for survival.


If we dare to mingle with those that haven’t yet woken up to what is happening around us and the disaster we are heading towards as a species, and of course as a planet, we have to be mindful not to enrage them with the truth. It’s a hard balancing act as we do not want to be disingenuous but nor do we want to be attacked. Picking the battles where there is a chance of waking someone up from their stupefied zombie state has to be very carefully considered in order not to let the world grind us down. Are they ready? Do they consent? 


Where once I would have shouted about how important it is to be yourself unapologetically, we now find we often have to 'move with the herd’ and not draw too much attention to ourselves because it’s exhausting being attacked all the time for speaking the truth. Online, if I promote our edible forest farm project on certain social platforms and use the word ‘vegan’, I have to brace myself for the hate and trolling. It means we have to mindful to how courageous we are feeling and either prepare ourselves to don the dead people’s masks often worn in ‘polite society’ or arm ourselves to deal with the onslaught should we reveal who we are and what we stand for. 


Being autistic, outspoken and desperate to do what I can to change things, I find I have to constantly weigh up the risk of enlightening someone against the very real danger of being attacked. Whilst most of the attacks are verbal and usually include telling me I am pious, judgemental, preachy, and even abusive for speaking the truth, there have also been threats of violence and even a death threat online which is frightening, as these days it isn’t hard to track down where you can find someone in real life. 


To not put myself at risk, donning one of the death masks to squish down the truth becomes a protective necessity - whether that is fighting the urge to tell the lady in the queue at the garden centre that her slug killer will also kill hedgehogs or resisting the urge to enlighten the vegetarian still supporting barbaric industries that they are worse than meat industries because they torture and rape their victims before sending them to slaughter. Vegetarians that say they don’t eat animals because they love them, yet seem to not give a damn about how barbaric the dairy and egg industries are can send me into a teeth clenching rage that I have to suppress if I am not in the right headspace for a battle. I have discovered that the autistic tendency to express how I feel at all times to anyone listening is not a good recipe for harmony. I’m learning to hold my tongue. 


Having trained as a psychotherapeutic counsellor where we were taught to own our feelings and express them without apportioning blame, for many years I foolishly thought my vocabulary was succinct in sharing my personal experience rather than pointing the finger of shame at anyone but the truth is, people usually just don’t want to know how you feel. Very few others care how you feel about anything. 


The death mask of politeness requires us to lie and pretend we are fine when we are not. To express any form of negativity in response to someone’s actions is pretty much the same as holding up a mirror of ugliness and so the zombies hurl accusations of the other being narcissistic or self-absorbed, or even abusive in a gaslighting attempt to avoid accountability. Whether it’s the organisers of XR Carmarthen making silly excuses to not allow a vegan buffet at the meetings, or a family member asking for ‘bygones’ rather than discuss the generational toxicity in a bid to tackle it, too many people just don’t want those uncomfortable conversations. It seems that for most it’s much easier to scapegoat and apportion blame for our failings and poor choices onto someone else. Our neighbours cannot control their dogs, but rather than acknowledge they need to work on their recall skills, anyone opening a gate is entirely at fault if the dogs bolt. 


It’s been normalised to defensively blame the other when someone speaks out about poor behaviour or choices. Like the carnist who will say that vegans are argumentative or disrespectful rather than look to their own cruel choices or the husband who will say his wife is too sensitive when presented with how his behaviour has upset her, the person who speaks out is often shot down with arrows of avoidance. Often with overtones of disdain and nastiness; how dare their flaws be pointed out so they can work in them and become a better person! But here’s the thing: when people respond aggressively, I now find myself breathing a sigh of relief that at least they are showing me who they are when their cognitive dissonance is triggered. And when it gets ugly enough that they also threaten to get their solicitor onto me for some random stranger leaving a gate open, I now find that course of action rather comforting, for whilst most lawyers are adversary by nature in order to push up fees, at least they generally tend to operate within the confines of the law. I realise of course not all laws are just, but having a level playing field in understanding what the rules actually are is comforting.


Neurotypicals seem to have unspoken rules of social interaction and how honest one should be, but this is often way too complicated, vague and changeable for me to know how I am supposed to respond or feel. My honest responses are often seen as confrontational or rude when often all I am trying to do is convey my understanding of a situation is and what the consequences will be if the current course of action is continued. My alarm warnings of what is likely to happen are all too often seen as threats. I’m yet to understand why well-meaning warning calls are often labelled as hostile threats. The planet is literally burning but XR activists trying to alert our fellow humans to the dire situation are at best hailed as a nuisance creating inconvenience and at worst imprisoned for trying to sound the alarm. How dare they make people late for work when they do not care one jot that we are heading for mass extinction! 


Whilst it’s horrible to have to deal with someone being malicious in response to telling the truth, I take comfort in knowing it’s actually preferable to disingenuous smiles and secret dark plotting to undermine and invalidate instead. Show me who you really are and I will know how to deal with the situation. What I find hardest is dealing with is false smiles and sickly sweet voices that do not match the malevolent intentions of the zombies. Fakery is far worse than the actions of those that are quick to anger and fling insults. I find I am grateful for the authenticity of the bully baring their teeth as I can then decide if this person is either not in the right space to have a mature conversation or if they may well be too zombified to ever try and understand each other. 


In trying to create a vegan intentional community that stewards the giant edible forest farm we are creating at Cwm Caredig, we have encountered many disingenuous people who, in their survival mode, turned on the charm to schmooze us into selling them land. We have learned the hard way over the years not to take people at face value anymore, but rather allow time to reveal their true intentions. Time always shows us who people really are, and whilst it's been heartbreaking to see certain people who we thought were lovely drop us and our project when it transpired the alignment wasn't genuine, I'm also grateful those people have gone. The right people are willing to have those potentially uncomfortable conversations in order to evolve and understand each other better. The right people don’t scapegoat and flounce. I’ve learned to find gratitude that those people generally remove themselves and I try not get caught up in their unwillingness to talk about why. People with a growth mindset are usually willing to offer feedback and receive it, even when it looks like there isn’t the alignment to stay. Stonewalling, ghosting and gaslighting may be cruel ways to deal with an autistic over-sharer like me, but it’s often a sign that someone doesn’t have the maturity or the growth mindset to want to learn so I have learned to not take it too personally these days. 


Time always shows us who people really are...

We have discovered that our tribe are either neurodiverse, have HSP traits (highly sensitive person) or are so driven by the mission to create sustainability and live in harmony with each other and nature that they are willing to face their demons and practice non-violent communication techniques to make it work. I have also discovered this Summer that I get on very well with culturally more direct speaking nationalities. Let’s face it, us Brits can be painfully polite and dishonest with it and it isn’t serving us well. 


Despite my hesitancy to mingle, we have met a lot of people the last few months, both with our Cwm Caredig volunteer season and with our advocacy work in cities, towns and at festivals. I helped run VegOut West this Summer and MCd and stage-managed the music tent so I have met a lot more passionate vegan activists this year.  It has helped Paul and I realise we align far better with animal rights campaigners, climate crisis activists and vegan advocates willing to dedicate their lives to their cause, rather than the flaky crystal hippy narcissists that have adopted a vegan lifestyle because it matches their yoga training and tribal tattoos. Lifestyle and life mission are quite different; one being to be as happy as you can be and do what is best for yourself and your body and the other is a willingness to sacrifice personal happiness for a greater cause. Of course a balance of both is better for personal well-being whilst trying to change the world, but I have met too many people for whom feathering their own nest is their prime directive. It's been shocking to discover that vegans in survival mode can be equally as selfish and cruel as the zombies at times; they might make better choices for the animals, but can still be sociopathically cruel to their fellow humans.


I often find that when I stop reeling from the shock of someone being cruel, I move to a place of compassion where it’s hard to stay cross with them because I understand why they are behaving that way. It takes bravery and courage to face your demons and be held accountable; not everyone is capable. Those people will never really know true inner peace or understand how compassion can alter you into a vessel of love. Their lack of love robs them of true happiness, so it’s hard to stay angry with people that can’t let go of their toxicity. They are literally punishing themselves, so why add to that? They are the people most in need of love and so whilst it’s important to maintain good boundaries and not allow someone to abuse or mistreat you, it’s also important not to let them bait you into responding in anger because they are being vile. It’s on them if they are mean. I’ve said it before in one of my soapbox sermons, but hurt people hurt people. I’ve lashed out when I’ve been hurt. It’s human nature, but poor choices should be followed by reflection, and an element of shame that something could have been handled better is a good motivator to change and do better next time. 

It takes bravery and courage to face your demons and be held accountable; not everyone is capable.

Anger in itself is not a sin. It’s often a red flag to highlight where you need to protect yourself. Anyone that undertakes the necessary shadow work to heal from past trauma knows this. The key thing with anger is to allow yourself to feel it, but not to act on it while you are still angry. Unless of course you plan to channel your rage into action that is necessary, like when Jesus turned over the tables in the temples and released all the animals. Or when it drives you to advocate against injustices that simply cannot continue. Anger can often precipitate change but it needs to be a choice to use it rather than to let it control you. Let anger be the bell ringer on the Titanic but perhaps not your chosen crew member to steer the ship. 


By waiting until the anger subsides and compassion has the opportunity to replace it, we can either heal wounds, or know that we should perhaps avoid someone who isn’t ready to heal themselves or have the necessary uncomfortable conversations that lead to greater understanding of each other. For those that don’t want the cure to being a zombie, it’s wasted energy to try; however it’s important not to underestimate the power of planting a seed; of offering mediation or the uncomfortable conversation when and if they are ready and then stepping back and not forcing it on them. This is something I am still mastering as the autistic urge to correct and enlighten people is often greater than the wisdom of hindsight. 

Let anger be the bell ringer on the Titanic but perhaps not your chosen crew member to steer the ship. 

Understanding that consent is crucial to waking people up has been a hard lesson for me.  Knowing that people don’t want to know how I feel and learning to not take it personally has been key for me to let go of injustices I just can’t alter. It has helped me to not dwell on things the way I used to. I accept some people will never like me and I am finally okay with that. I don’t have to like them either, and whilst I am always hopeful people will turn out to have a conscience and will either wake up or at least practice kindness I am beginning to accept that some never will. I am also learning to embrace the idea that they still deserve to be loved. Hopefully by someone who cares about how they feel. Hopefully their unhappiness is counteracted by the comfort of someone who understands their trauma. Or who doesn’t mind that they make choices that are not always kind. 


People who eat and wear animals do still have each other, and whilst it can be infuriating that they offer each other the comfort of their own cognitive dissonance, I am glad they have each other in the zombie world out there. Otherwise what else is there for them? 


In supermarkets, I look at the pieces of dead friends wrapped in cellophane in people’s trolleys and despair at how much death and torture most people consume. It’s hard not to let it get me down but then I remember how I used to be like them. I remind myself how blessed I am to have the sanctuary of Vegan Valley. It’s why, when non-vegans apply to join us as potential community members we have to say no. I try to be as polite as I can, telling people that they don’t meet our eligibility criteria rather than preaching about their choices like I used to do in a bid to wake them up, as this is all too often met with hostility, I do sometimes wonder if I should just ignore the non-vegan applications. My conscience just won’t allow it though; if someone has gone to the trouble of completing our tribe seeking form, it feels like the right thing to do to reply. The non-vegans that clearly have good hearts take it quite well, but others will vent their rage at our rejection with such unkindness it makes me more certain we cannot welcome anyone into our tribe that still consumes cruelty and thinks we’re the cruel ones for saying no to them. 


Abusers will always abuse the person challenging them on their abuse if they are not ready to face the consequences of their choices. Accepting that is how it is and not taking it personally is the best advice I can give to the more sensitive souls who see how brutal the world is becoming and don’t know how to live in it. I see you and support you. We got this. 


Together, we are strong. 

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